true confessions of a happiness junkie

The Duck decided to improve her Icelandic skills recently by reading something educational. Her definition of educational is quite broad, as the only reading material she has in The Pond is bread bags and hot-dog wrappers. These are admittedly very informative but tend to get a tad repetitive at times, so she was excited to spot a newspaper floating in the water one morning last week. She swam over to educate herself.

It was really only one sheet of newsprint and the ink was soggy and unreadable, but she was still more or less able to make out one article. The headline read: Alsæla leiðir til þunglyndis.

Blue Duck blinked. Popular ways to depression? Blue Duck was confused. She blinked again and realized that she had read the sentence wrong. What it *actually* said was utter happiness leads to depression. This is not what Blue Duck thought it said in the three seconds before bashing her head repeatedly against something solid and flat, such as a wall, in the hopes of better arranging her grey matter. No. If Blue Duck had owned a dictionary to look up words in with, it would have told her exactly the same thing: utter happiness leads to depression.

The Duck continued to read in a daze, trying to wrap her neurons around the concept of happiness leading to unhappiness. It did not compute:

Utter happiness leads to depression

Cambridge University researched 124 individuals and came to the conclusion that persons with a gene composition demonstrated strong signs of depression after using the drug utter happiness - a happiness otherwise known as Ecstasy...

Blue Duck burst into uncontrollable laughter.

It took several days for the surgeons to put her back together again.

WARNING: Extreme happiness is bad for your health.