Clock'd

Jæja, ætla að reyna að gera eitthvað allt öðruvísi núna - semsagt fara að blogga á íslensku, sem ég hef reyndar gert áður (í fyrrverandi blogginu mínu, lítið þekkt fyrirbæri sem verður seinna gagnlaus staðreynd númer eitt) en svo hætti snemma við því mér fannst óskemmtilegt að fletta upp hver einasta orð. En í tilefni þess að ég hef verið klukkuð á íslensku og veit ekkert um neinu samsvarandi phenomenon í blessuðu móðurmálinu ætla ég að byrja nýjan kafla í bloggskrifssögunni minni.

5 gagnlausar staðreyndir um sjálfan mig:

1. Ég átti einusinni blogg á íslensku. Aðalumræðuefnið, endur.

2. Sem barn var viss um að Narnía væri til. Reyndi meira að segja að fara þar í nokkrum sinnum. Bjó til sérstaka vél til þess úr pappírkassa og fékk saklausu systur mína að sitja í henni í eitthvað 10 mínútur að gá hvort eitthvað gerist. Var samt næstumþví viss um að það tækist aldrei - var oft ekki mjög góð systir.

3. Skrifaði einusinni epískt trilogí, meisteraverk í þremur bindum. Sem betur fer, var það aldrei gefið út, en ef einhver hefur áhuga er líka búin að skrifa Appendix E fyrir það þar sem ég reyna að búa til mál í anda Tolkeins...

4. Get sagt "Ég fer til Íslands í flugvél" á þýsku. (Ich fahre nach Island mit dem Flugzaug) Gagnlaus staðreynd um gagnlausan hæfileiki!!

5. Og.. ég er, þrátt fyrir blogginu, ekki önd.

(For those of you who don't speak Iceland yet, is this not your perfect opportunity to learn??? Just kidding. Will return with the english version of this as soon as I come up with a better translation for "ég klukka þig" than "I clock you" - though on second thought, I think I like it. Hmmmm.. ideas?)

German for beginners???

Well.. since I seem to be sitting her at work with neither a dictionary nor a set of knitting needles, but do happen to have a German phrase book from Kolaportið sitting in front of me.. what can I say.

I think I will learn German.
And you can too!

Nebel in Dusseldorf
(nay'-bel in duss'-el-dörf)
There is fog at Dusseldorf.

Köln zweimal
(kurln tsvi-mahl)
Two singles to Cologne.

Ich langweile mich
(ich lung-vile-er mich)
I am bored.

Sie haben sich geirrt
(zee hah-ben sich ger'-irrt)
You are mistaken.

Es ist nicht meine Schuld
(ez ist nicht mi'-ner schoolt)
It's not my fault.

Das geht mich nichts an
(duss gate mich nichts un)
It has nothing to do with me.

Ich möchte einen reifen Kase
(ich murcht'-er i-nen ri-fen kay-zer)
I want a mature cheese.

And this is only the beginning - if Blue Duck had known there were so many fascinating phrases possible in German she would have started long ago!

On a less ridiculous note, Norræna félagið is holding a language marathon on Monday (26. sept) in honour of European Language Day - góða skemmtun í boði fyrir alla, the perfect opportunity to brush up on any German you might have accidentally learned here... (unless you in fact happen to be German, in which case there is always Russian..)

(Note: Blue Duck is not responsible for any and all missing vowel-dots. That is the keyboard.)

Icelandic Picnic

Last weekend, the Duck went for her very first Icelandic picnic of the year. It was such a beautiful day, after the rain cleared up, with the sun shining on the rocks that lie between the student housing and the sea, and the gentle wind rustling through the dry strands of golden grass that shoot up between them under a cloud-streaked sky, that she thought it entirely made up for the pain of missing a bus for a conference in Skálholt because despite three years of university education she is still entirely incapable of reading a clock properly.

But some things were meant to be, and some things not, and eating icy dinner on the rocks between the student housing and the sea, surrounded by shivering friends and housemates, that was.

Things you might see in Iceland

When you come to Iceland, says the brochure, you will see an unspoiled land of fire and ice, a land of volcanos and Vikings and really expensive shoes tottering down Laugavegur at five in the morning.

It makes no mention of the large group of junior-high-lookingish individuals you will see on the opposite bank of Tjörnin dressed in garbage bags and diapers being doused with the pond's filthy, shopping-cart-infested waters by strange figures in hip-waders and what is possibly a neon green alligator. And all this to the tune of Carmina Burana.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

The Day I Flushed My Glasses Down the Toilet

Yes, it is best to be frank about it.

The truth could only have been put off for a few paragraphs anyway.

This tragedy all began on a Friday morning, a tragic day on which to begin any tragedy, especially one of such epic proportions as this. It starts with an alarm clock, which is set for 7:30 due to an impending class in Árnagarður, at 8:15 a.m. on the third floor. A sudden start from troubled dreams, an instant of confusion, and then the waking.

7:45. The shower. Uneventful, routine, shower-like. No screeching violins with the turning on of the taps, I put my glasses on top of the toilet for easy and convenient future access. And of course I put down the lid. I am not so irresponsible as to put my only pair of glasses this side of the ocean directly above an open toilet bowl.

7:50. The shower ends. I step out of the tub wrapped up in a towel and efficiently flush the toilet. Alas, in the same instant, I catch a finger somehow on the glasses, which are placed beside the button - on European toilets, located on top rather than on the side. Gracefully the glasses tumble down the back, do not fly off into the air but rather fall staight down, like a 60000 krónur metal waterfall, down through the fatal gap between lid and bowl and are gone. I throw up the lid. They are gone. The gap is just wide and high enough for a folded pair of glasses. And I have just seen my happy day flash before my eyes.

The rest is all a blur, literally. The funny thing is, despite all my expectations, it is actually a good day, once I recover from the shock. Sometimes you get a huge, random change thrown into your life when and how you really least expect it. But what could have been a total disaster in fact turned into a demonstration of the absolute best side of people and also the turning point that forced the Duck to finally get contacts.

A massive special thank-you (in case you're reading this!) to Inga, Jó, Mom/Dad/Sister Duck, Claudia and the optical store across from Bónus - all of whom were collectively responsible for turning a horrible tragedy into hilarious legend.


Now, as long as I can get these contacts out of my eyes again..

You might be in Iceland if...

1. Your friendly neighbourhood convenience store is the aptly-named 10-11.

2. But they're actually open from.. 9-12! (or something like that.. but oh what convenience!)

3. You usually meet at least one person you know in aforementioned store.

4. Sometimes, you know every single person in the store!

5. Occasionally, this may include the cashier(s).

6. Every time you come back it seems as if they have found a strange new fruit/nut/body lotion ingredient to put into their dairy products (paprika skyr, with kumquat extract and shea butter!)

7. Mmmm... paprika skyr....

8. Clearly, the Duck has not eaten enough in the recent enough past....

9. It is clearly time for the Duck to go now......

10. Greetings from Reykjavík!

Sweet taste o' freedom

So..the Duck was kinda laying low for the last couple of days in FREEZING ACK ACK downtown Reykjavík, nose/bill to computer 24/7 trying to finish the translation for her university that she was supposed to have done many moons ago. This small exercise alone, which took up most of her summer, has given her an incredible appreciation for the people who bring Greek, Estonian and Japanese etc to the English-speaking world and also made her hermittier than an Irish Monk on Thule.

But now, she is happy to announce that she is DONE! DONE! FREEEEEE! For.. (counts 'em) 4 days! Yeeeehaw!

(runs off to dance like a duck in the computer lab)